I send this, just in case
by LouphiaTheHobbit
Summary: Shortly after starting his trip to the Hamptons, Castle gets a bad feeling about the whole thing and just in case something happens he sends Kate something...  Kate/Rick with a good bit of Lanie/Esposito
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's note:** This isn't my first attempt at a Castle fic but it is the first one I actually publish :) I'm not done writing another chapter yet and just wanted to see if you guys like it so far and have some ideas to where this could be going (I certainly have). Maybe even some speculations about what Rick sends Kate?_

_Anyway, reviews (and non-dense criticism) are greatly appreciated, even if it's just something like ":)" or "more"._

_ps: this isn't betaed. _

_Okay. Here we go! Sorry it isn't much. YET!_

_**Whops, disclaimer:** Don't own Castle, just playing around someone else's sandbox..._

**I send this, just in case**_  
_

Kate Beckett was lying in her bed, starring at the ceiling. She was sure that it was already past midnight and it would take quite some time to get rid of the two black lines of mascara on her cheeks that were left from crying. But she didn't care. She could as well deal with these in the morning. To be honest, she wasn't even bothered by the fact that she was still fully clothed, the only things missing her shoes and her leather jacket.

She blinked, her eyes dry from the starring and the many tears she had shed a few hour before. She didn't even know why she cried.

Well, obviously, she had started because of him. Mere hours before, she broke it off with Demming, just to find out that Castle was taking his ex-wife with him to the Hamptons.

And once she started crying she couldn't stop herself. Tears were running down her cheeks and she didn't even know why. She just felt like it. At least she felt a slight bit better than before.

Now she was lying on her bed, in the dark, not really seeing her ceiling anymore, trying to figure out what had hurt her more for what felt like the hundredths time this night. Castle leaving with his ex or Castle not getting that she was about to tell him something personal. Something important.

With a sight she decided it was the latter, whispering an annoyed 'How could you be so blind, Castle?' to her ceiling.

She tried her hardest to blame him for her misery but, and she had had this coming right from the moment she unlocked the door to her flat, deep down she knew it was also her fault.

She was the one who ran of with someone else in the first place- well at least she intended to- and he only… followed her example.

She got up, took her clothes off and laid back, only wearing a bra and panties. She snuggled into her duvet and, still trying to be solely mad at him, she drifted off to sleep…


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey! Thank you sooo much for the reviews and adding my story to your alert list! Ist's really encouraging and means a lot! This chapter isn't much longer than the first one but I guess it's better to post things more frequently and then in smaller amounts instead of posting rarely but masses. Anyway: have fun reading and don't hesitate to review! ;)_

Richard Castle was lying in his bed, listening to the sound of the waves breaking on the beach, trying desperately to fall a sleep. But no such luck. Every time he closed his eyes, he heard her voice, saying 'I know it isn't easy to get to know me...', he saw her face, lips twitching with a nervous smile.

What was she trying to tell him? He wondered.

First he had thought that she was trying to tell him he should shop shadowing her, because with him present all the time her relationship with Demming was kind of awkward.

Had she been trying to tell him that she didn't need, no, want, him anymore?

The thought hurt and it has stung all the way from New York to the Hamptons. But when he finally sunk down into his bed it struck him: She wouldn't go on about how difficult it is to get to know her and that he weaseled his way in anyway if she was about to throw him out.

It simply didn't make sense.

But what else was it?

He groaned in frustration when he hear a bird sinning somewhere in the garden. He estimated it was about 3:30 am in the frigging morning and despite being totally tired he just couldn't fall asleep with the face of Beckett invading his mind every two or three seconds.

It was hopeless. He could as well get up and go for a walk on the beach. His mental Alexis was about to lecture him about how absolutely stupid this was ('Daddy, you're gonna be awfully tired and you know you're here to write!') but for once he only cared half, deciding that a few cookies and a glass of milk in bed were nearly as good as a walk on the beach. After all, he had all summer long for finishing Naked Heat.

Of course it had crossed his mind just to finish the damn book as soon as possible and go back to New York and the 12th but he was sure it was highly unlikely that it would be a good idea to rush into this.

Especially with the purpose of watching Kate and this Demming-guy making out at her desk.

The thought of Demming made him want so punch something. Hard. Really hard. For a second or so he seriously considered punching his pillow but quickly dismissed the idea when he realised that maybe… this would be a bit ridiculous.

He tried to think of Alexis but thinking of Alexis made him think of DFT and DFT made him think about Kitten and that made him think about Kate.

It was just… the whole mess was driving him insane.

For the estimated 156th time he tried to note down the facts on his mental 'murder-board', tempted to think of a fancy name for this ridiculously important case of his but he didn't really come of with something that he regarded as fancy. Seriously, how think sounded "The Mystery of unspoken words"?


	3. Chapter 3

_Baaaaaaaaaahm chapter 3 is up! I still appreciate reviews and I'd be really happy, if you not only read my story but also reviewed it. It means a lot and is acutally quite encouraging! I hope I'll be able to post a fourth chapter tomorrow :)! _

_PS: Obviously, this is back to Beckett's POV (and it's longer than the other chapters. so far! )_

_PPS: Anyway, thanks for reading and have fun doing it ;)_

Kate was lying at a beach, listening to the soothing sound of the tide, when a shadow fell over her face.

'Hi', a voice belonging to a man, said. She turned to look who it was, the voice seemed vaguely familiar. It made her shiver. Something about it reminded her of something rather … unpleasant.

She opened her eyes just to find herself starring at a foolishly grinning Tom Demming.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice taking a strange tone that didn't really sound like her.

"I'm going to get you back" he said. Kate gulped and she felt Demming's hand gripping her arm not only a little too tight.

"Let go", she hissed but he only grabbed her harder.

"Demming, will you let go of me". Her voice came out a little louder this time but he seemed either not to hear her or to ignore her.

She tried to wind her arm out of his grip but it didn't help. Somehow her whole body had turned into something rather… wobbly and she appeared to have lost complete control over it.

Right when she was uttering a really sharp but somehow rather feeble "Let me go" another voice mixed with hers.

The voice claimed to let her go and this time, she found herself almost smiling. Despite the fact that Demming's grip on her arm was really starting to hurt.

She turned her head and saw Castle running towards them. The sight of him made her stomach tingle in a pleasant kind of way, although she couldn't really explain it to herself.

He didn't look at her. Instead he was glaring at Demming in a way that told Kate that he didn't like Demming. At all. And before she really knew what was happening, she was on the ground again and the two men were totally involved in a fight. She really wanted to know what they were shouting at each other, both of them looked pretty angry but she couldn't hear them, the sound of the waves seemed to be the only thing she could hear and it was getting louder and louder.

She shook her head in order to get rid of the noise but when she opened her eyes again, Castle and Demming were involved in a fistfight and a pretty bad one.

The sound of the waves was still getting louder and when she thought she couldn't take it anymore Demming fell to the ground. Castle was now coming towards her, picking her up from the beach and somehow, the numbness of her body was replaced by an odd feeling of… thousands of tiny butterflies on her skin.

The surroundings suddenly changed and they were back at the precinct. They were standing in the bullpen and Kate felt a rush of uncertainty overcome her. She heard herself saying that it wasn't easy to get to know her and then, Gina came in, although she didn't really look like Gina. More like some kind of a strangely deformed devil with long blond curly hair. She tried to grab Castle and drag him away from Kate but then Esposito showed up and somehow shot Gina with an arrow and then Kate is in Castle's arms and he's kissing her and she's kissing him back.

And God, it feels so good, so right, so real.

"Kate", he whispers. She smiles against his lips and is about to say something, when her mobile starts ringing. She ignores it and leans in to kiss him again but the phone just won't stop ringing.

It keeps getting louder and Kate wakes up with a jolt. Her phone has, by now, stopped ringing.

And then her dream and last night's events come crushing down on her. She drops her head on her pillow again, eyes shut, mesmerising the dream.

Her phone alerts her about an incoming text and she grabs it to check who it was and who had been trying to call her (and woke her at 6 frigging 30 am in the morning, she thinks grumpily).

Her heart seems to skip a beat when she sees the caller ID. It's Castle.

Her phone starts ringing again. She freezes. Again it's Castle. For a mere second she almost forgets what happened and picks up but then she remembers, a flash of pain raging through her body and she lets the call go to voicemail.

She just can't… bear to hear his voice right now.


	4. Chapter 4

_I happily annouce the arrival of the 4th chapter. I'm sorry it has taken me a bit longer to update but receiving only three reviews kinda crushed my motivation :( so, yeah: feel free to review. PLEASE ;)_

_Also, I'm sorry that this is a bit weird- I don't like it that much but somehow... I didn't really get it. Anyway, I had to publish this because I have half of the next chapter in my head, waiting to be written down..._

_**Thank you all for reading, adding my story to your alert list and to your favourit list and, of course thank you to my faithful reviewers. Once you'll all be mentioned but this time I'll only thank Jayce Gish who wrote 2 totally fantastic reviews! Thank you! You increased my mood considerably!**_

_**Well, okay. now that I'm on it: also thank you to I'm widget who reviewd quite frequently and to anyone else who reviewed so far. As I said, you'll be mentioned as well!**_

_Before I wish you a good time with this chapter a hint: On my profile I posted 5 spoilers to Castle's season 3... you might want to check them out and give me your opinion ;)_

_Okay, I'm done with my blubbering :) enjoy reading and don't forget to review!_

_PS: If you don't feel like reviewing you can pay me back by writing a Ryan/Esposito bromance fic ;)_

_PPS: sorry to everyone who got me on their alert list- I posted this chapter without going through it again^^_

Rick stared at the large square of papers he had put on the wall in his bedroom in the Hamptons. He was sure that he'd never done something like this if it wasn't for his total inability to sleep - let alone rest – or if he'd managed to forget for a blissful moment what happened back in New York.

He had written his mental murder board for three or four ties in his head till he couldn't focus on all the details anymore. That was at exactly 4:37 am. He remembered because that was the time he finally tiptoed into the kitchen and got himself a glass of milk and a handful of cookies.

After happily eating his not-so-nearly-midnight snack he tiptoed into his office, grabbed a pile of papers and two pens and started setting up his murder board in his bedroom.

After one and a half hour of writing, thinking, ripping various sheets of paper off the wall and rewriting them, he looked at his finished work contently.

Yes, it certainly was a beginning and maybe it would even help him to sort this mess.

The victim was he, obviously. And the suspects were Demming (Rick had already marked him as prime suspect) and Kate. He had also considered adding Ryan and Esposito to the list of suspects but had quickly abandoned the idea and decided he'd consider them as source for information. He decided to treat Lanie the same way.

So. Again. He was the victim because he had absolutely no clue what was going wrong. Demming was the prime suspect because a) he just couldn't stand him and b) he had taken Beckett from right under his nose when he had been soooooooo close.

Kate was listed as suspect only because she kind of triggered the whole mess and because she was the one who, and it had cost him quite some time and another handful of cookies to admit it, broke his heart.

So, yeah. It was out. Kate Beckett had managed to hurt Richard Castle. And it felt so … new. And every time he thought about her and well, her unpleasant boyfriend, it stung. It felt like something really sharp was forced into his heart and turned around just to hurt him a little more. It was an unfamiliar feeling and somehow, he was glad he hadn't felt it only once before and this was a long time ago when Kyra Blaine left.

And he hand no intention of letting Kate leave as well. He'd rather commit a murder than let her go, despite knowing this might not exactly be the best idea to get in touch with her.

He sighted deeply. Of course she wanted her to be happy, it was just, he wanted her to be happy with him. Not some some stupid random robbery detective!

After adding the few things he knew, like the facts that Kate and Demming were on a vacation now and that she had been trying to tell him something personal and important before he left, he allowed him to wallow in his misery. At least a tiny bit.

When he finally couldn't bear starring at the murder board and the really deforming cartoon-face he had drawn of Demming any longer, he took his mobile from his desk. He should start interrogating his suspects and since he didn't know (and didn't want to know) the number of Demming he dialled Kate's number.

He hoped she answers her phone. Somehow, he longs to hear her voice and suddenly he is overwhelmed by the emotion of missing something. Someone. He ends the calls and takes a deep breath. What if she didn't answer the call?

He thought about it for a moment and came to the conclusion that there was no reason not to answer his call. It was not like he did something to make her angry.

So he picked up his phone again, dialled her number and listened to the beeping coming from the line. Nothing. He glanced at his watch. Okay, it was 6 am, maybe he should call again later.

Ten minutes later was later enough and he tried it again. And again. And again.

But she didn't pick up her phone.

Of course the possibility of her… being preoccupied with Demming was forcing itself into his brain and he couldn't fight the sickness that was slowly developing in the pit of his stomach. He slammed down his mobile went to his window, breathed in the fresh air and tried desperately to forget the images that his brain came up with seconds before.

He never knew losing her would hurt so much.


	5. Chapter 5

_Wohoo! Fifth chapter and if you and I get lucky I'll post another one in a few hours! I hope I don't annoy you with the constant blah blah of how bad Kate and Rick feel but I promise in the next chapter I'll drop kind of a bomb ;)_

_**Thank you all for reading and reviewing and this time my special thanks go to Eliza C.! Thank you for all your reviews!**_

_**I also wanted to thank all of you who put me on their lists- you're great!**_

_So, last but not least: Getting more reviews totally made my day and motivated me to write more. Keep it up and do us both a favour ;)_

_Have fun reading!_

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It has been two weeks since Castle had left New York and two weeks since the first phone call.

Kate had lost counts of how many times he had called and how many texts he had sent. She couldn't bring herself to react on any of the attempts to communicate with her.

It simply hurt too much and it was far easier to burrow herself in work and to build up a thick wall around her.

Part of her knew it was stupid but another part of her, and this part was fairly bigger and more convincing than the reasonable part, told her not to answer the calls and instead blame him for her current state of total emotional confusion.

Deep down she knew she hurt him. She knew it had been stupid to start dating Demming but she had seen her chance to get herself a boyfriend who was exactly what she always wanted. Nice, understanding, taking her serious, charming, good looking and, somehow, safe.

He wouldn't run of, neither with another woman nor for another job in another part of the country.

Yet, her it caught her completely off guard that despite being everything she wanted, he didn't make her … live. She didn't laugh as much with him as she did with Castle, he couldn't read her in the way Castle did and she missed the whole pulling each other's pigtails thing dearly.

For four weeks now, every time she woke up, his voice whispered 'The heart wants what the heart wants' and when she had to face his decision to leave for the summer, it sunk in. She'd never be the person with Demming she could be with Castle. And she preferred the Castle-person. It was more fulfilling to be the Castle-person and way more fun.

And she knew he was hitting on her. Hard. Plus she had a feeling he was serious about her. The realization came crushing down on her, when Esposito told her that he thought it was highly unlikely Castle's plan to watch her hit it off with another man.

She could have smacked herself. Jesus, she had been so stupid.

It has been right in front of her, maybe not as safe as Demming but far more… convincing. More fun, more bickering, more feelings, more… life.

The only problem was that she had to get rid of Demming first, before she told Castle that she'd really like to take his offer about going to the Hamptons with him.

Except, after breaking up with Demming, she hadn't thought about the possibility of Castle moving on. And this hit her pretty badly when Gina came into the precinct.

Adding to her problems was that her constant lack of sleep decreased her motivation to go to work even further and the looks Lanie, the Captain, Ryan and Esposito were shooting her constantly didn't help either.

Especially Esposito concern threatened to drive her nuts because he seemed to feel responsible for her situation and was practically surveying her.

Today it had been particularly hard not to snap but she had managed until Esposito shot her one more of those worrying glances, Ryan's face mimicking his expression.

"What is it?" And she couldn't help the snappy tone.

Her co-workers had exchanged a look and she figured they were silently debating who should confront her. A last, Esposito's conscious awoke and sorted out the argument and they carefully approached her desk.

"You okay, Beckett?" , the Detective asked.

She shot both men a death glare and grumbled, "Why should I not be?" and returned to starring at her personal mountain of paperwork.

"You just seem to be getting not enough sleep lately" Ryan tried cautiously but without success.

Kate looked at them again and for a while neither of them said a word, though her fellow detectives were looking increasingly uncomfortable.

"Fine" she snapped. "I go home."

The always-present concern on their faces mixed with relief and Kate grabbed her jacket, turned of her computer and left the precinct.

If one of them asked her again if she was okay she'd make sure their body was never found.


	6. Chapter 6

_Hey you! Wow I just posted the sixth chapter! That was… soon xD _

_I'm sorry it is a bit shorter than the ones before but I need to get this going and come to the thing Castle sends Kate ;)_

_**My special thanks goes to all the reviewers, foremost Angles-hear1, Harry-Nikki-Love, caskett4eva and briandbr549.**_

_Please leave plenty of reviews, they totally keep me going :D_

_And again the hint: I posted a few __**spoilers to season 3**__ to my profile. Feel free to check them out ;)_

_Have fun reading!_

_PS: both POVs are included! Don't know whose POV the next chapter has in stock for you ;) any suggestions?_

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**Castle's POV**

_Three weeks_. Three weeks dominated by writing and trying to reach Kate. Unfortunately, the latter was rather unsuccessful.

He still didn't know what he did to upset her but he hoped that she'd eventually answer her phone. Maybe he then stood a chance to find out what was bothering her.

But no such luck.

_One last time_, he told himself before selecting 'Kate' under the recently dialed numbers.

The familiar beeping. Silence. Beep. Beep. Beep.

"Beckett"

Her voice made him jump.

"Hi" was all he managed in his surprise.

The silence on the other end of the line was deafening. He thought he heard a shallow breath but he wasn't sure.

"Oh. It's you".

Shit, she sounded everything but happy – let alone pleased- to hear him.

"Yeah"

God this was the most awkward moment of his life.

"How are you?" he asked.

Another long silence followed.

"Busy. I have to go."

And before he could tell her to call him when she had time or that he was sorry she hung up.

Hearing her voice had brought the pain back and it made him miss her even more.

_You probably interrupted a make-out session with Demming,_ an evil voice in his head whispered. He tried to ignore it but somehow his pain reached another peak.

Shit. No more calls in the next few days. But at least she had answered! This certainly was a progress, wasn't it?

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**Kate's POV**

It was still early but she knew she had to answer the phone. It wasn't a free weekend and she had learned a long time ago that murder gives a shit about her lack of sleep.

Without checking the caller ID she answered.

"Beckett"

"Hi".

In a matter of seconds she was wide-awake.

_Oh God. _

A horrible feeling overcame her. This was no murder-related call. This was Castle.

_Shit. Shit. Shit!_

She tried to breath in calmly in order to stop herself from screaming assaults into her phone or starting to cry.

This couldn't be happening.

"Oh. It's you" she finally said.

This wasn't meant to be happening.

"Yeah".

Not being able to control it, his face made an appearance in her mind, mouthing 'Awkward' at her in true Castle-fashion.

She didn't know what to say. Well, to be honest, there were hundreds of things she could say but she really didn't feel like pouring her heart out to him on the phone, especially without screaming at him first.

"How are you?" he asked. He seemed nervous.

This was her chance to get away and she took it gratefully.

"Busy. I have to go". And then she hung up.

After she ended the call she stared at her phone for what felt like an eternity.

And again she was totally torn. Part of her congratulated her for ending the call so nonchalantly; the other part of her was threatening to smack her. Somehow the latter part sounded a lot like Lanie.

She sighted. Well, maybe he'd stop calling now.

_You do not really want that!_ A furious voice inside her head hissed.

She groaned and after tossing her phone onto her table she decided to forget about the call and to go back to sleep.

Except, sleep had no intention of coming to her.


	7. Chapter 7

_Hello dear readers __**;) I'm sorry for keeping you waiting for so long (especially you, Eliza C. ;)**__ )- I had kind of a writer's block caused by boyfriend-troubles…_

_Here's chapter 7 and since I have quite a clear picture of chapter 8 in my head I hope to be updating again soon :D_

_Anyway, enjoy reading and don't forget to review._

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After starring at his silent phone for about ten minutes Rick sighted. He had a murder board to complete and he really needed to get some more information.

In order to shed some light on the matter he decided to try his luck with someone else.

Should he call Ryan, Esposito or Lanie?

The idea of calling Lanie was quickly dismissed as the chance of her answering his call was pretty small and apart from that she'd tell Kate.

So, Lanie was not an option.

He checked who of the guys he had last called and found out it was Ryan. Unfortunately, he didn't answer the phone and Castle hoped his friend wasn't ignoring him.

When he dialled Esposito's number, he was practically praying for an answer because first of all, he really had enough of his calls being ignored and secondly he really needed a few answers.

"Esposito", the detective sounded far away but not nearly as bad as Kate had sounded.

"Hi, it's Castle" he almost added 'how are you' but the memory of Kate's answer prevented it.

"Have you got a minute?" Castle added hurriedly before Esposito could end the call.

"I'm kind of… busy" he said. "Is this important?"

It was about Kate, of course this was important.

"Yes, sure. You know, I can call you back later if you want."

"Wait a second"

Castle had to admit that he was surprised by the way Esposito dealt with him. It was like nothing had ever happened. In fact, nothing _had _ever happened he reminded himself.

On the other end of the line he heard muffled voices.

First he thought it was Ryan but the voice that mixed with Esposito's sounded female and vaguely familiar.

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Miles away in New York Javier Esposito was raising an eyebrow at his phone, turning around to Lanie Parish.

"It's Castle. Sais it's important", he said with an apologetic smile. Lanie nodded, shooting him an incredible curious glance.

"This better be good" she grinned before leaning in to the phone.

He smiled at her and before returning to the call the brushed a kiss on her nose. She giggled quietly and Esposito prayed that Castle didn't hear it. If there was one thing he didn't need right now it was somebody knowing that he and Lanie were seeing each other. Especially not Castle.

Returning back to the call he tried to keep his voice neutral as he felt the tiniest bit sorry for Castle. The guy must be completely clueless about what he did and by the looks of it Beckett was still ignoring his calls. At least this might explain her snappy attitude.

"So, Castle. What is it?" Esposito asked curiously

"Erm… How are things going back at the precinct?", Castle asked cautiously, probably wanting to get in the picture first.

"Quite the usual. Handful of cases, loads of paperwork… you know…" he trailed off.

"Oh. Okay. Listen, I won't keep you much longer from what you're doing but I have an important question." He hesitated "About Beckett.", Castle started rambling on the other end of the line.

Lanie raised an eyebrow and mouthed "That's gonna be interesting" to Esposito who grinned back at her.

"Okay then, lets hear it", the detective answered.

"She doesn't answer my calls" Castle blurted, cursing himself for his lack of proper wording the following second.

Castle cleared his throat.

"I mean, I tried calling her for what, three weeks? And she never answers her phone. Never! Neither calls nor texts. And today, she picks up and I think "Thank God" and she sounds totally pissed off and before I can even ask what is wrong she hangs up. I haven't got the slightest idea of what I did to make her so mad at me."

He felt better now that he told someone.

"And how exactly can I help you" Esposito asked, sounding rather curious.

"What did I do?" Castle asked and Esposito felt almost sorry for his friend, who sounded truly desperate.

"Look Castle. I think it's better if you two work that out on your own but… you hurt her, when you left."

"What? Why?" Now Esposito almost laughed by the mounting confusion in Castle's voice.

"Let me give you one word: Gina".

"What about her? She isn't even here anymore!"

Not it was Esposito how sounded utterly surprised.

"Trouble in paradise?" he asked with a smug grin towards Lanie.

"You could say that. She left five days after we arrived, said she couldn't stand me moping around all the time."

"So you're moping around, Castle? This must be really bad…"

Castle wasn't sure if Esposito mocked him or if he actually meant it.

"Okay, listen, Castle. I guess Beckett wanted to tell you something… personal, okay? And Gina wasn't exactly what she was expecting… You get it?"

"Yeah".

Castle still sounded startled but let it go.

'Okay, thanks. I'll be in touch."

"Ya welcome, bro" Esposito answered and ended the call.

"Geeeeenz" Lanie muttered, "He must be really desperate"

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_PS: I really hope you liked the pairing. I felt like giving it a try and I hope you're as curious as me to find out how Kate finds out… ;)_

_PPS: Review. Please!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Hi all!_

_Sorry for keeping you waiting so long- again! This time no boyfriend-troubles but convincing a good friend of mine to join (hi, if you read this, LordSP) and I was a bit occupied writing on a oneshot…_

_This chapter focuses not on Kate and Rick but I promise, the next will ;)_

_Read and review please and have fun reading! (and don't forget the PS at the end of this chapter!)_

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After pouting at her mobile for a few more minutes (trying to get back to sleep was hopeless) Kate got up, took a shower and made her way towards the precinct.

By the time she arrived, she was fuming. Totally angry with herself and really pissed because Castle had interrupted her sleep. And she hated being woken up for nothing.

She decided to go to the morgue, a plan in her head that involved telling Lanie about that call and about how much she hated Castle for calling and how much she hated him anyway.

When she stormed into the morgue, however, she wasn't greeted by the sight she was expecting. Instead of her best friend working at a dead body she found her friend being quite occupied with a very much alive one.

One that happened to be very familiar.

Her best friend and fellow detective Esposito were pretty much distracted by one other and failed to notice Kate until she cleared her throat very loudly.

The two jumped apart and were now starring at Kate, who had a look of utter surprise on her face. Slowly, a faint blush crept over their faces and before anyone could say anything Esposito murmured a quick 'I better get going' and rushed out of the morgue.

Kate was now eyeing Lanie with an incredulous look. Lanie, conversely, seemed to have found something strikingly interesting on the floor, as she kept her gaze down.

"Explain" Kate said, her voice oddly distant.

Lanie looked up, a really big grin on her face.

"Erm. We're kind of… dating" she said.

"Really? I didn't figure that from the way you two were kissing", Kate answered sarcastically, the grin slowly creeping onto her face betraying her played sternness.

"Since when? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Four weeks." Lanie said guiltily.

"What?" a mixture of hurt and disbelief "Four weeks?"

"Well… we wanted to see if it works out, you know? Unlike someone else we don't start running away and hiding at the chance of a possible relationship…"

The hint was obvious but Kate chose not to play along.

She'd rather dig in her friends' private life then let one of them dig in hers.

"You know, he's like a brother to me, don't you?" Kate asked, this time serious.

"Yes" Lanie sighted "And I'm like a sister to you and since neither of us wants to hurt the other I promise you that you won't have to chose whose side to take. There will never be sides to take."

Kate smiled at her friend.

"Okay. Though what makes you so sure of that?" Kate asked smugly.

Lanie blushed. "We just… fit. It feels right, you know?"

Kate gave her friend a brief hug.

"No public display of affection on crime scenes, at least not too much, no goo-goo eyes at work and our girl time every two weeks is still happening."

Lanie nodded.

"I'm happy for you. It's nice to know that also good things happen from time to time. But for now… I want the juicy details"

Kate winked at her friend who bit her lower lip in response.

"Okay. You remember that case with the mummy? It kind of clicked there. He came here pretty late because he wanted to know something, I don't remember what but I asked where Ryan was. And he said he'd left early because he was meeting Jenny. And Javier looked so… lost."

Kate had to suppress a snort while Lanie described how "lost" "Javi" had looked. Her normally snappy and witty friend was obviously head over heals in love.

"And we were just talking and fooling around and no man had ever made me laugh as hard as Javi made me. When I was done going through the toxicological report we continued talking and I think it was pretty late when my stomach decided that it was time to eat something. God- I swear, my stomach never lurched as loud as this particular moment, it was so embarrassing. And Javi grinned at me asked if he kept me from eating and I told him 'kind of' and he asked if I wanted to come with him, grab a burger, some fries…"

This time Kate couldn't suppress a giggle.

"What?" Lanie asked, smiling widely.

"Nothing. Just… I never knew Esposito had a romantic side".

Lanie rolled her eyes. "You wanna hear the rest of the story, girlfriend or you wanna laugh at me?"

"Both preferably, but I guess I go with hearing the full story first."

"Okay. So we had a late night dinner but that was not a date or something. We just continued talking and laughing and he walked me home"

"Excuse me?" Kate interrupted "I though it wasn't a date".

"It wasn't! He sais he couldn't let a woman walk home alone because as homicide detective he knows what kinda things can happen. Well, anyway. A week or so later we met on the pavement outside and starting talking again and somehow, I said that I liked dinner with him and I don't know how it happened, but we went out again. And this time it felt like a date."

Lanie smiled so much that Kate feared her face might split into two any second.

"Lanie, this is all very sweet and romantic, but get to the point, please!" Kate grinned.

"Okay. Point taken. He walked me home again and I, well I was walking a bit closer that appropriate and our hands were touching lightly and then he just… took my hand. Can you believe it? We were holding hands!"

Her friend sounded like a schoolgirl who just had her first date to the prom, Kate thought.

"And when we reached my apartment building he let go off my hand to pull a leaf out of my hair and he brushed my cheek and the next thing I know is that I'm kissing him. Just like that"

Kate couldn't believe how happy Lanie seemed. Of course she felt really happy for her friend but a tiny part of her was still being nagged by Lanie's earlier comment about running away from a relationship.

"And that was it. A few dates, holding hands and kissing". Lanie was momentarily caught in the memory and Kate laughed lightly. _And here goes the schoolgirl again_ she thought.

"What- that was it?" She couldn't stop herself from asking. "No hot office sex in the… morgue?"

Now Lanie laughed. "No! Besides, it's only been four weeks. What did I tell you about my six weeks rule?"

"Fair point", Kate chuckled.

Suddenly Lanie's facial expression changed from incredibly happy to deadly serious.

"Why are you here so early, Kate? You know I would've called if I found something."

Kate sighted. Lanie knew her far to well to not see trough the mask Kate was wearing.

"It's Castle. He's been calling and texting me for three weeks and I was perfectly fine ignoring him but this morning I picked up…"

"Oh Kate" Lanie exclaimed, the growing smile being wiped off her face when she saw her friend's expression.

"… on accident."

* * *

_wow that was long :D! i hope you liked it!_

_PS: __Soooooo are you eager to find out more? I bet you are… leave enough reviews and when I get the message that the 40__th__ review to this story has been added … the next chapter is yours!_

_PPS: If you are interested in the hot office sex in the morgue- include that in the review or let me know by pming me- that's the oneshot I'm currently working on;)_


	9. Chapter 9

_Hi all!_

_Thank you for all your reviews! Chapter ten is already written and will be posted when I get review number 55 :D!_

_Enjoy reading and yeah, this time, it is revealed what Rick sends…!_

_

* * *

_

Rick was pacing his study, eyeing his laptop and his mobile phone gloomily.

The first because he knew he really should be writing and the latter because it just wouldn't ring.

Great, he had hurt her. Exactly what he needed.

Rick shook his head.

Calling her again seemed somewhat pointless, why should she changer her mind and answer her phone willingly?

Sometimes he wanted to curse her for being so stubborn.

Okay. She didn't want to speak to him, she didn't answer his texts and he even doubted that she read them.

_Send her something she can't read or talk to. Something simple and thoughtful with a line or two, saying you are sorry__. Something she can't ignore,_ he thought.

Rick came to a halt at his window. Pulling the thick blue curtains aside his gaze fell on the marvellous beach and the clear, blue ocean.

_If she was here right now…_

Her version of the whole mess was the key to understanding it, Rick war certain about that. But how on earth could he make her come here and tell him?

Then it struck him. _The key! _

As soon as he thought it, he literally jumped to his drawer. A key… somewhere in here must be a spare key…

After digging in old notes, pencils and other stuff he just couldn't throw away for about ten minutes, he held a shiny key in his hand and a satisfied smile came across his face.

So far so good.

He stuffed the key into his pocket, went over to his desk and after another search he had a pen and a piece of paper in his hands.

He sat down but when he wanted to start writing his mind went black. What was he going to write? A simple 'I'm sorry' together with the key would look creepy and he really didn't want this to be creepy.

He eyes wandered around the room, stopping at the window.

Yeah. Why not send her sand and the key? As little reminder of holidays?

Thankfully the voice nagging at him about Demming was quite for once, otherwise he might have dismissed the idea immediately.

Key and sand. But that still didn't really help him with what to write. Nothing too long, she would toss it in the bin, nothing sappy. Something nice.

A knock on the door interrupted him.

"Come in" he heard his voice calling.

Gina entered, throwing him an angry glare, as he obviously wasn't writing.

"I brought you donuts" she said, her voice cold.

Rick nodded.

Waiving his hand vaguely he responded "Thanks. Put them somewhere…"

She did as she was told and left the room.

Rick turned around to look at the donuts. There weren't with chocolate. They were with colourful sprinkles.

"Great", he muttered sarcastic. "My own ex-wife doesn't know that I despise sprinkles"

For a moment he eyed the donuts full of enmity as thought they were responsible for his misery.

Then it clicked. The sprinkles reminded him of Sorenson, Kate's ex. The moment this connection was made, every thing fell into place.

He sat down at his desk, grabbed the pen and started writing.

_Kate,_

_I send this just in case you need someone to talk to or somewhere to go. I will always be there for you. Take care, Rick_

Only two sentences but he was pretty sure she'd get the picture. Though, maybe he should rewrite it and leave out the take care bit because seeing it written down it looked somewhat pathetic and apart from that he was pretty sure she didn't need to be told to take care.

He rewrote the tiny letter, folded it neatly and put it into his pocket, together with the key. Grabbing a stamped envelope he scribbled her address on it and hurried downstairs.

When he reached the door, Gina's sharp voice came from the living room.

"Where do you think you are going, Richard?" she called.

"I'll be back in ten minutes and I promise you to write all night long" he called back, already half outside.

The brilliance of his simple plan had helped to increase his mood immensely and he was sure that he'd be able to write a glistening ending to Naked Heat now that he had a foolproof plan.

Slightly humming to himself he walked down to the beach and fell to his knees. He dug his hand into the soft, white sand and carefully let it rinse into the envelope.

When he considered it to be enough he slipped the key and the folded piece of paper into the enveloped, got up to his feet and sealed it.

He made his way to the letterbox and unconsciously planted a faint kiss on top of the envelope.

_Please let this work out!_ He begged silently, before gently pushing the letter into the letterbox.

* * *

_Don't forget to review… ;)_


	10. Chapter 10

_Wow, I NEVER got so many reviews all at once. Thank you so much!_

_I won't keep you from reading, so here's chapter 10, have fun and don't forget to review- you think we can make it 65 reviews before we reach the next chapter?_

_PS: In case you want to talk about spoiler number five (on my profile) PLEASE pm me- I got a theory, which I'd love to discuss with you!_

_

* * *

_

Lanie watched Kate picking at the salad in front of her. After their morning encounter in the morgue Kate had refused to tell Lanie the whole story at the precinct, because who knew who might show up? And Lanie was quite glad about the change of scene because telling Kate about Castle's call earlier might take some time and in case Kate felt like yelling at Lanie she'd now have to suppress it because yelling in public? Thank so wasn't Kate.

"Let me get this straight. You picked up that call accidentally, told him you were busy and hung up on him?"

"Jesus, Lanie! How often are you going to repeat this?"

"Until it makes sense to me" Lanie shot back.

"Yeah, it was stupid, I know. I should have checked the caller ID first".

_Okay,_ Lanie decided,_ this is enough._

"Kate. I will only say this once, so listen closely! Castle is desperate. Like really desperate. He has no clue what he did to you and I'm pretty sure he won't figure this out on his own. Not when you further refuse to talk to him and to tell him you broke it off with Demming. Kate, I know you want to talk to him and I am sure as hell that you're denying some pretty intense feelings. We both know that. So will you please talk to him?"

Kate gaped at her friend open-mouthed.

"I…I don't have some unresolved feelings" she finally managed, after opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish.

Lanie raised an eyebrow.

"Really? Because you seemed pretty upset when he left with that Gina-woman…" Lanie trailed off, watching her friend closely.

Kate bit her lip, eyes flickering to the ground.

"I know that expression, Kate."

"Okay, fine. Maybe I do have feelings. For him. But he clearly doesn't care for me."

Now it was Lanie's time to gape at her friend.

"Excuse me? He's been trying to reach you for three weeks! Kate, are you blind?"

"But he backed off", Kate said quietly.

Lanie shook her head in disbelief.

"Kate, honestly. He wanted you to be happy. He put your happiness over his. He cares for you! You know what he did this morning?"

_Here we go__, time for another reveal_, Lanie thought, before continuing her rant.

"He called Javier this morning"

Kate said nothing, her head shooting up, lips forming a silent "oh".

"He asked if he knew what he did to upset you"

Kate cleared her throat. "What did he tell him?"

"Just that he hurt you and that it had something do to with Gina."

"Can every one read me like an open book?" Kate wondered aloud, the stunned expression never leaving her face.

"How do I know you? A decade? Esposito knows you pretty well, too and Castle is just… "

"Yeah, thanks. He's Castle. But why didn't he get it his time?"

"Girl, I don't know. But I guess… he thought it would be better if the two of you stopped working with each other for a bit. He was disappointed, Kate. You're not the only one who got hurt in this mess"

Lanie voice had changed from harsh to sympathic and she smiled softly at Kate, who looked somewhat defeated.

"Well, I guess… I'll answer the next call then" she said a bit uncertain.

* * *

_Okay... Sorry, this is rather short. But I promise if I get enough reviews I'll post the next chapter within the next 24 hours!_


	11. Chapter 11

_Whohoooo! Chapter 11 is up- finally. I'm sorry it took me so long but my familiy is visitng me at the moment so I haven't much time for writing…_

_Thank you all so much for reviewing! It means a lot. You think we reach 70 reviews before chapter 12?_

_Enjoy reading!_

_

* * *

_

Walking as fast as he could, Esposito escaped the morgue and was now rushing into the precinct. Without an explanation he dragged Ryan into the rest room.

His partner gave him a quizzical look.

"Are you okay, bro?" Ryan asked, confusion written all over his face.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner…"

"Tell me what sooner?"

Esposito turned around to check they were still alone and no one was observing them.

"Me and Lanie are dating."

Silence.

"Oh."

Pause, while realisation showed on Ryan's face.

"Our Lanie?"

"How many other Lanies do we know?" Esposito asked, a small smile forming on his lips.

Ryan shrugged.

"I guess you wanted to see if it worked out before anyone found out?", he asked and Esposito nodded.

"And why are you telling me now?"

"Cause… Beckett kinda… walked in on us."

Ryan could have sworn he saw a faint blush on his partner face while he was desperately trying to bit back the laughter.

The moment he couldn't hold it anymore, Esposito knew he'd never live this down.

* * *

A day after Rick posted the letter he was pacing his study again, trying to defeat the urge to call Kate. He had vowed to himself that he wouldn't contact her again. If she decided she didn't want him in her life and, therefore, not show any sign of interest after receiving the letter, he'd leave her alone.

It was up to her.

But this didn't mean that it couldn't drive him crazy.

* * *

Kate rushed into the bullpen after lunch, finding Ryan and Esposito in front of the murder board.

She briefly considered making the situation really awkward for Esposito but decided against it. _A brief talk will do_, she thought with a smug smile.

_Though,__ a tiny bit awkward would be fun…_

"Did you have a pleasant morning, Detectives?", Kate asked with a smug smile on her face, the question obviously directed to Esposito, who was starring at the murder board as though his life was depending on it.

Ryan looked from Kate to Esposito and decided to tease his partner at least a bit. He might as well get a bit of fun out of this situation. There wasn't much to laugh about since Castle had left, leaving Beckett in a particular irritated mood.

"Oh thank you for asking, Beckett, I had a wonderful morning. Though, as for my colleague over there, I can only guess he'd been in kind of a hurry to get here…" he trailed of, trying to bite back the smirk.

Esposito shot him a glare and nodded at Beckett. Well, not really at Beckett, more like at the door behind her. Kate grinned at the forced neutral expression on her friends face.

"Can I have a word, Esposito?", she asked, this time serious but a small smile was still on her lips.

He nodded, still directing his response at the door behind her and followed her into the break room.

When she closed the door and turned around he looked straight at her.

"Is this about…earlier?"

Kate nodded. "I just wanted you to know that I'm okay with … you two seeing each other. In fact, I'm happy for you. To be honest, I'm kinda glad that Lanie finally found herself a decent guy. "

She smiled at him and somehow, he looked incredibly relieved when he released a breath he had been holding unconsciously. He smiled back.

"Thank you, I guess" he said, still a bit awkward.

"Don't…"

"I won't…"

They both started talking at the same time.

Esposito waved his hand, indicating that Kate to continue.

"Thanks. I was just saying… don't hurt her. She's been through some pretty bad stuff and she's really happy with you."

The look on Esposito's face almost made Kate jealous. He seemed utterly perplexed. Hurting Lanie was obviously the last thing on his mind.

"I won't. I promise."

Kate smiled again. "You both are like family to me. I wouldn't want to take sides"

She knew she had Lanie told the same thing but she wanted to know if Esposito would tell her the same.

Much to her relieve he did and with a mutual smile, they turned around, Esposito walking towards the door, Kate busying herself at the coffee machine.

* * *

When Rick finally slammed his laptop shut, stretching his arms and getting off his chair it was way after midnight. He had spent his day writing and starring at his mobile phone, debating if he should give calling Kate a last chance.

But every time he had made up his mind and was reaching for his mobile, memories of her cold voice at yesterdays phone call kept flashing through his mind.

So he did more writing, promising himself that he'd call her only if she called him. And he knew that it would take the letter about two days to arrive in New York.

So there was still much time left and he really shouldn't be worrying.

But the thought of the mere possibility of Kate not calling… hurt. It made everything seem so useless and grey.

He sighted and went off to bed, knowing he should be satisfied with today's achievements- at least he had re-written the third last chapter of Naked Heat.

* * *

Kate practically jumped out of her bed when her alarm clocked woke her the next morning. She groaned. The last day had been super boring, apart from finding out her best friend and her fellow detective were dating.

Masses of paperwork had been waiting for her when she came to the precinct and masses of paperwork were now waiting for her.

She got out of bed, took a shower and ate some breakfast, mentally preparing herself for another boring day…

The minute Kate entered the precinct her mood decreased further, if humanly possible. Both her fellow detectives were having a conversation, grinning like idiots. It was pretty obvious that it had nothing to do with work. She shook her head at the boys, shot them an angry glare for enjoying themselves and fell into her chair.

After a few tedious hours of paperwork she started shooting her phone angry glares too, because it neither alerted her about another murder nor Castle tried to get in touch. If she was honest with herself, she totally hoped he'd call again, although she was right down terrified of answering the call. But she would do it.

If he called, that is…

* * *

Hours later Kate unlocked her door and her eyes fell onto the letter that was lying on the floor right behind her door. She kicked her shoes off, threw her jacket over a nearby chair and kneeled down.

Taking the letter into her hand she moved it slightly, hearing a noise that sounded suspiciously like sand.

Who the heck would send her sand?

Turning around the letter, reading her name scribbled on it's front a shiver ran down her spine.

The letter was from Castle.

* * *

_Wohoooooooo she got it, guys! _


	12. Chapter 12

Hey guys, sorry for the long wait! I haven't had much time but I totally hope the chapter was worth the wait. Thank you so much for reviewing and reading!

**This chapter goes especially to Eliza C. for being so interested in my story and to LordSP- trust me, everything's going to be fine! :)**

Now enjoy reading and don't forget to review!

* * *

Kate was sitting at her coach, takeout in one hand and a glass of wine in the other hand. The letter she found on the floor an hour earlier was sitting on her coach table, starring at her intensely. She still hadn't gotten over the shock.

After all the calls and texts and two days without a single sign of life he sent her a letter. A frigging letter!

She was currently debating whether she should open it or better leave it closed at her table. Or maybe she should throw it away.

Though, she couldn't just put it in the bin. Apart from being curious as hell something deep inside her sent this really warm and fuzzy feeling into her stomach after realising who made the effort so sent her a letter.

She exhaled deeply, shot the letter another wary glance and returned to eating her takeout.

* * *

Rick was starring at the blank laptop screen, desperately trying to get himself together and another chapter done.

Today was the day Kate got the letter. At least it should be the day unless the post service messed with it.

He eyes his mobile phone anxiously, shortly wondering when she would call and what he would do if she didn't call at all.

He closed his eyes, allowing himself to dream about how Kate would find the letter, see it was from him and would instantly open it, finger shivering slightly when digging though the white sand.

He almost snorted at the highly unlikely scene he was picturing. It was way more Kate to throw the letter to the kitchen table, order take out, eat, drink a glass of wine and ignore the letter until she finds it when adding another box of leftovers to the Styrofoam temple.

He smiled at the memory of the masses of take out boxes in her refrigerator.

She'd then take the letter, sit at her couch and shoot panicky glances at it till she could convince herself to call Lanie.

Yes, that was the Kate he knew.

Kate was still staring at the letter on the table, the film she intended to watch wasn't exactly distracting and soon she couldn't help herself.

Mentally, she scowled herself for being so stupid. She should just open the damn envelope and see if he sent her anything apart from sand.

The problem was that she was damn sure he did and she was afraid that it might be a totally cute and friendly and loyal and caring gesture.

She shook her head. The whole thing had taken her so far to think it was possible for Castle to do something cute, caring even.

Taking a deep breath she leaned to the letter and took it in her hands. She moved it slightly, listening to the somewhat soothing sound the sand made when shifting from the left to the right corner.

Closing her eyes she stroke the envelope with her thumb, never stopping to shift it.

The noise made her think of holiday and the thought that Castle had the letter in his hands only a few days ago send this fuzzy feeling form earlier back into her stomach.

The shrill ringtone of his mobile phone tore Rick out of his daydreams about Kate. Without checking the caller ID he shouted a breathless "Hi" into his phone, every inch of his body hoping it was Kate calling.

"Dad?"

Okay, no Kate.

"Alexis. Hey, how are you pumpkin?"

He could almost see her startled face.

"I'm good dad, are you okay? You sound a bit… out of breath?"

So typical. Of course she would notice.

"I just ran up the stairs" he managed.

"Okay."

His daughter sounded less then convinced but obviously decided to let it slip as she started talking about her summer program at Princeton.

When she was done talking she took a deep breath.

"Dad, did you hear anything from the guys at the precinct?"

His eyebrows almost vanished into his hairline. Why would she want to know?

"Yeah, I just spoke to Esposito. Why are you asking?"

He had a pretty good idea that she wanted to know if he already spoke to Kate because the last time they spoke she had figured out that something about her was bothering him.

"Oh. Nothing important. I was just wondering if you … solved your issues with Detective Beckett"

Rick smiled. He loved his daughter but sometimes she was too clever for her own good.

"Alexis, don't worry about that, okay? I promise to sort that out, somehow."

"Okay"

This time he could almost see the eye roll. Beckett was rubbing off on his daughter and he wasn't sure how to feel about it.

He heard voices in the background on Alexis' side of the line and he heard his daughter's voice saying 'give me a minute'

"Okay, Dad? I'll call you again in a few days, I have to go, we're meeting for philosophy class"

"Have fun, pumpkin. I love you"

"Love you, too dad"

The line went dead and Rick smiled at his phone. His daughter always made him happy and she never ever failed with her mission to make him smile.

* * *

"Kate, you can do this, it's just a stupid letter" she scowled herself.

"It's not just a stupid letter, Castle sent it" she replied.

Had the situation not been so serious she would have laughed at herself. How ridiculous was she being? Sitting on her coach, debating whether or not to open the letter with herself. Since one and a half hours.

It was not like it would explode in her face or something.

But it just made her nervous. The knowledge that she would be letting him back in by opening that letter, by allowing him to get in touch.

She took another sip out of her glass of wine and with a sigh of defeat took her mobile. She took a deep breath and called Lanie.

"Hello?" Lanie answered the phone.

"Hey… it's Kate"

"Some people do have a private life, you know?" Lanie askes, slightly annoyed but not overly so.

"Sorry. Am I interrupting something?"

"Mhm…"

Ooookay, Kate thought. She definitely was interrupting something and she didn't really want to know what exactly.

"Dismissed your six weeks rule yet?" she couldn't stop herself from asking.

"Give me a minute" Lanie said, sounding slightly out of breath, further confirming Kate's suspicion.

"Sure"

Kate heard muffled voiced at the other end of the line, then nothing for a moment, a slight giggle probably coming from Lanie (anything else would have scared her) and then her friend was back.

"Okay. What is it, Kate? I swear, I'll kill you if this is work-related".

Kate could tell she was serious.

"Castle sent a letter"

She felt like she had just dropped a bombshell.

"He sent what?"

"A letter."

"What did he write?"

"I don't know…"

"What? Why that?", Lanie sounded utterly confused.

"I didn't open it… but there is sand in it."

She would have sworn she heard a male voice laughing quietly.

"He sent you sand?"

"Yes, Lanie, sand."

"Open that letter, Kate. Okay? Or are you honestly telling me you call me in the middle of the night to tell me you got an unopened letter in your apartment?"

Kate smiled.

"Well… I just… don't know if I'm ready for this."

Lanie sighted.

"Kate, it's just a letter. It won't bite and I very much doubt Castle would deliberately put something init that will hurt you."

"I know…"

"I will end this call now and you are not allowed to call me back until you opened that letter, okay?"

Lanie knew she couldn't solve this any other way.

"Okay. And what about your rule?"

Kate loved prying into her friends life, she really did…

"Let's just say… some rules are made to be broken"

Kate could practically see the grin on both her friends' faces.

"Right. I'll call you later. Have a nice… night"

With that she hung up and took the envelope in her hands again.

Slowly she dug a finger into the lid and carefully ripped it open.

She could feel the sand beneath her fingers and something else… something rather cold. She put two fingers into the envelope and pulled out a key. Putting it on her palm she looked at it carefully. It seemed quite new, seldomly used.

The key now lying on her table she let her fingers dig through the sand again. This time she found a tiny piece of paper.

When it was out of the envelope she carefully blew the sand away from it and unfolded it.

It was a note, written in his tidy handwriting.

_Kate,_

_I send this just in case you need someone to talk to or somewhere to go. I will always be there for you. Take care, Rick_

She gulped. Loving, caring, cute and loyal. Just what she had feared.


	13. Chapter 13

_Hey guys, _

_thanks a lot for all your reviews- I'm awfully sorry for not posting sooner. Somehow, I really had a bit of a writersblock. Must be pretty annoying for people like Castle ;)_

_Anyway- I think there will be one more chapter- if you persuade me enough maybe even a two. _

_However- read, review and, of course, enjoy!

* * *

_

Kate woke up to her furiously ringing mobile phone. She was curled up on her coach and her neck was aching like hell from the uncomfortable sitting position she had fallen asleep in.

Still groggily she glanced at her phone. It was Ryan.

"Beckett" she answered the phone, still not fully there.

"Ryan here, we got a case"

While she got up, stumbling into her bedroom he filled her in on the details and she told him she'd be there in a few minutes.

Kate almost forgot about the letter until she went looking for her boots and went past the table. She sighted. Yes, she didn't know what to do and she was pretty scared but it still brought a smile to her face.

She had to deal with the letter later, though. Plus she still hadn't told Lanie about it. And after calling her friend last night she was pretty sure she'd get quite a story from Lanie herself…

Stumbling out of her apartment, making her way to her car her thoughts lingered with the letter. She really had to call Castle. Or at least send him a text. Yes, she'd been hurt but that letter was just… cute. And it reminded her distinctly of that case they'd been working on with Will a few months earlier.

She'd had a feeling that Castle had been jealous and she remembered how serious his face had been when he told her he'd be there, even if she just wanted to talk.

She was pretty sure, he thought of that conversation as well.

When she finally arrived at the crime scene she had a cup of steaming hot coffee in her hand and was slowly waking up.

By the time she approached Lanie and her two fellow detectives she had noticed that Esposito was standing a bit closer to her that necessary and that Lanie was leaning in to him suspiciously when talking. Looking at her friends' hands, Kate noticed that their pink fingers were intertwined.

Kate sighted. Good to know life could be so easy.

"Morning" she said unenthusiastic, getting an equally unenthusiastic "Morning" back from Ryan and on overly cheerful one from the new couple.

Lanie motioned to her to come over and let her to the body, which was already covered by a plastic bag.

"Why didn't you wait for me before you put the bag over it?" Kate asked, ignoring the questioning glance Lanie was shooting her as soon as they left the boys.

"Erm… This is pretty bad. Like, really, really bad" Lanie warned before lifting the cover.

Kate gasped at the sight. It wasn't just a dead body. It was, in fact, barely recognizable. Someone seemed to have expressed their aggression and hatred by slamming an axe into the body over and over again until it looked more like raw mince. Blood was everywhere and bones where sticking out from the body. All in all an utterly disgusting mess.

Kate felt a little sick when looking at the body closely, trying to identify the face. She couldn't really blame Lanie for not waiting with covering the body.

After a well… not that close look on the remains (body just sounded so wrong), Lanie put the cover back and got out a notebook. Kate raised an eyebrow at her, Lanie and notebook was a not so common occurrence.

"Okay", Lanie said, looking at her curiously. "Spill the beans"

"Excuse me?" Kate said, deciding to play dumb- she'd rather not have the boys near the inevitable conversation.

"Girl, you called me in the middle of the night about a letter with sand, while I was…well, never mind" Lanie answered.

Kate raised an eyebrow at Lanie, trying to hide a smirk.

"Fine. He sent a key with a note saying he'd be always there if I needed someone to talk to…"

Lanie smiled. "That's so… "

"Yeah."

"Did you contact him?"

"No, no… I fell asleep after I called you. Which reminds me…Had a nice night?" the smirk was back on her face.

"Well, what can I say...?" Lanie trailed off, sharing Kate's smirk.

"Oh, come on Lanie. I don't want all the details, but some would be nice" Kate scowled good-natured.

"I can't complain"

Lanie flashed her a grin and made her ways back to the boys. Kate shook her head and followed close by.

Throughout the whole day Kate couldn't forget about the letter that was waiting for her to come home and obviously, she couldn't help thinking about _him_.

Being honest with herself she had missed him. Well, she had missed him the second he stepped into the elevator a couple of weeks ago but today had been tough.

She found herself longing for an inappropriate comment at the crime scene, knowing Castle would have made a joke about the fairly disgusting body that would have brightened the mood.

By the end of the day she was literally desperate for his company and Lanie didn't even need a word from her before telling her to "go home and call writerboy already".

Kate was sitting on her coach again, the key in one hand, her phone in the other, his words ringing in her ears.

I'll always be there for you

She really needed him. His voice, his laugh, his inappropriate comments, his loyalty, his questions, their bickering. Everything. She even missed his eyes.

She sighted, when the pictures of the awful crime scene began flashing in front of her eyes again. This wasn't fair. The one time she needed Castle more than anything else he was out of reach.

Well, technically out of reach. Not really. He was there... waiting for her.

* * *

Meanwhile in the Hamptons, Rick was pacing his bedroom restlessly. She still hadn't tried to get in touch. A part of him was telling him not to worry, probably she was totally wrapped up in work but another part of him just wanted to hide beneath his duvet and cry. Once he had admitted it to himself, it went all pretty fast: Richard Castle, six page playboy and most eligible bachelor no 9, was getting deeper and deeper to being heartbroken.

He clenched his jaw and fell onto his bed. He really had to try and go to sleep. Maybe she'd call tomorrow. After the case.

He had never been so anxious for a call, he was sure of it.

* * *

_sorry if the last part is a bit ... bad. I really needed to post it- hope you forgive me ;)_


End file.
